Behind the Laptop //029: How to Reprogram Your Mind to Create the Reality You Want (Using the 5R’s Method)
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From Framework to Manifestation
Over the last two weeks, we’ve explored the 5R’s of Cognitive Reprogramming: a simple but powerful method to rewire your subconscious mind and reshape your identity.
In Part 1: How to Rewrite Limiting Beliefs, I shared the framework and why affirmations alone don’t work. In Part 2: The 5R’s Complete Guide, we walked through each of the five layers in detail: Recognition, Relation, Realization, Recreation, and Reiteration.
Today, we’re moving from theory to practice. This article is your step-by-step guide to using the 5R’s to manifest the reality you desire whether that’s more income, closer intimacy, deeper confidence, or a new identity you’re ready to step into.
Two Ways to Use the 5R’s
Before we dive in, here’s an important reminder: the 5R’s can be applied in two directions:
Future-Oriented Manifestation (alignment to the future positive)→ wiring in the version of you who already lives the reality you desire (today’s focus).
Present-Oriented Reprogramming (decoding the current negative)→ decoding the patterns in your current reality that you don’t want, and using that information to install a new outcome (next week’s article).
This dual application is what makes the 5R’s so powerful: they help you both create your future self and decode your present self at the same time.
Today’s article is going to focus on the positive: how to reprogram your subconscious to align with your desired reality.
How to Reprogram Your Subconscious to Create Your Reality
R1: Recognition: Identify the Reality You Want to Create
Every shift always starts with awareness. Recognition isn’t just about naming what you want, it’s also about seeing what you don’t want, and acknowledging what you’re not yet sure of. All three give you valuable data.
A simple but powerful exercise I give my clients is called the Desire Matrix. It’s a framework of three lists that helps you bring recognition to what you’re calling in:
What I know I want
What I know I don’t want
What I’m not currently sure of
This framework paints a clearer picture of the reality you do want to create, while also leaving space for discovery.
Tips for deeper recognition:
Look at the parts of your current reality you don’t like. Ask yourself why, then reverse it: if this looked exactly how I wanted it to, what would it look like instead?
The things you’re unsure of? Don’t force an answer. These are invitations to explore over the coming days or weeks to help you sift and sort your desires.
R2: Relation: Build the Bridge Between Desire and Identity
Desire on its own is just a spark. What turns it into reality is the relationship you build between the outcome you want and the identity that lives inside it.
That means taking a look and creating relationships between the thoughts, emotions, actions, behaviours, patterns, habits, and belief systems that create the identity of the version of you who has what you want.
Whether you want a new belief, a new story, or a new physical reality, the relation phase is always still the same.
R2: Relation is about drawing those correlations between every element of your identity (emotions, thoughts, behaviours, actions, patterns, belief systems.) Every desire has an identity blueprint behind it, and this step is where you begin to map it out.
If your desire is to make $100,000, then it’s not just about the money. It’s about the you who earns it: What do you believe about yourself at that level? What emotions do you carry day-to-day? How do you solve problems? How do you make decisions? Who do you see yourself as? What beliefs do you hold about yourself, life, reality?
Or if your desire is to become a consistent, successful creator, it’s not just about posting content. It’s about the identity of a creator who feels confident, powerful, safe to be seen, funny, grounded, and fully expressed.
Relation connects the physical desire with the inner identity that generates it. Instead of saying, “I want this,” you’re practicing being the person who already has it.
Tips for strengthening the relationship between desire and identity:
Don’t just name the outcome you want to manifest, ask who you become as a result of having it.
Pay attention to the emotions that naturally belong to the version of you who already has this reality and create separation with the emotions current you has that do not fit your desired reality.
Notice the difference in how that version of you would handle problems, decisions, and opportunities compared to now.
Don’t try to “figure out” how to “become” your future self. Instead, place yourself in that version of yourself’s shoes and simply look at reality through future you’s eyes. Notice how you see yourself, others, and life differently from the you today.
R3: Realization: Separate From the Old Story
By the time you’ve moved through R2: Relation, you’ve seen the contrasts between the version of you now and the version of you who already has what you desire.
R3: Realization is the breakthrough. It’s where you create separation between “this is who I thought I was” and “this is who I actually am,” or “this is who I am choosing to be.”
When you notice, for example, that current you feels anxious on sales calls while future you feels calm and confident, the point isn’t to analyze or judge yourself. It’s to realize: the anxious identity was never who I truly was, it was a story I picked up along the way. So even though I feel this way, it doesn’t need to mean anything about who I believe myself to be.
Maybe it came from being told as a child that you weren’t good enough. Maybe it was reinforced through past experiences that made you doubt yourself. But when you recognize it as a borrowed story, not your essence, it begins to lose its power.
This is the moment of separation: the shift from “I am this” to “I believed this.” Once you see that difference, you create space to step into the identity you actually want to live.
Tips for deeper realizations:
Don’t settle for surface-level “aha” moments. A true realization doesn’t have to be complicated, but it will feel like it lands in your soul.
Just because you feel something or believe it doesn’t mean it’s actually true. Feelings are data, not destiny.
You are the chooser. At any point in time, you can decide on a new reality, state, emotion, or belief and that choice holds more power than any old story.
R4: Recreation: Install the New Identity
R4: Recreation is the moment of choice. It’s where you consciously declare:
“This is who I was, but this is who I am now.”
By this point, you’ve done the heavy lifting: clarified your desire, connected it to identity, and separated from the old story. Now the past no longer dictates who you get to be. You are the author.
Recreation is the practice of installing new patterns: replacing the outdated beliefs, emotions, and actions with ones that align to the identity you’ve chosen. This isn’t about forcing a new affirmation onto yourself. It’s about rewriting from a place of truth and then living it until it becomes your natural state.
Examples of Recreation in action:
The thought “I don’t have time” is rewritten as “I create time for what matters most.” When you live this new story: choosing different priorities, setting boundaries, showing up with focus, it roots itself into your identity.
Someone who used to believe “I only ever have enough for the basics” rewrites it to “I am wealthy and abundant. Maybe I haven’t lived that way until this moment, but I am choosing that as my new story from this moment forward.” As they embody this belief, they take different actions: asking for the raise, attracting new clients, booking the vacation that once felt impossible.
Tips for Recreation:
Don’t overcomplicate it. Ask yourself: “What would I prefer instead?” You may not “know” another way yet (because all you’ve lived is the old story) but you always know what would feel better, or what you’d like to try on.
Anchor the new belief with action. Even small shifts reinforce the identity faster than thought alone.
Remember: repetition turns choice into identity. The more you choose the new story, the more natural it becomes.
Recreation is about more than positive thinking. It’s about choosing, embodying, and repeating the identity that aligns with your vision until it stops being “new” and simply becomes who you are.
R5: Reiteration: Reinforce Until It Becomes You
By the time you’ve reached R4: Recreation, you’ve already chosen the new identity. Reiteration is about making it stick, reinforcing the new story until it becomes your default.
At first, living from the new identity can feel a little awkward, like breaking in a new pair of shoes. They don’t quite feel like “you” yet. But the more you wear them, the more natural they become until one day, they are a staple for your wardrobe.
The most important thing is, R5: Reiteration doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, the simpler it is, the more sustainable it becomes.
Tips for Reiteration:
Don’t turn it into a draining 2-hour morning routine. Keep it simple.
Do quick daily check-ins, sometimes 30 seconds is all it takes to come back into alignment.
Leave sticky notes or reminders in places you’ll see often (bathroom mirror, fridge, workspace).
Change small things in your environment, like moving your water bottle to a new spot, as subtle anchors for your new identity.
Over time, what once felt effortful to practice begins to feel natural. The repetition makes your new identity the path of least resistance, the place your subconscious automatically returns to.
R5: Reiteration is what transforms your reprogrammed story into lived reality. It’s how the new you becomes the only you.
What’s Next: Using the 5R’s to Decode Your Current Reality
But what happens if you can’t even begin to imagine the reality you want to create?
That’s when we flip today’s approach. Instead of starting with desire, we start with what’s here now. The frustrations, the patterns, the triggers slapping you in the face every single day. Every breathe you take, every rock you see, every situation you encounter is providing you with feedback to give you the indicator of how close/how far you are away from your highest potential.
When you learn to decode your current reality, it becomes the roadmap to creating what you do want with ease.
This is the reverse application of the 5R’s: using them not just to install your future identity, but to unravel the hidden codes inside your present one.
We’ll dive into this next week, so stay tuned for how to use your current reality as a mirror to reveal exactly what needs reprogramming.
FAQ: Coding Your Reality with the 5R’s
Q: How long does it take to shift into a new reality using the 5R’s?
When you first begin applying the 5R’s, I recommend making it a daily priority for at least 21 days to 5 weeks. This helps you get familiar with the framework and gives your subconscious the repetition it needs to start wiring in the changes.
Over time, as you master the process, you’ll find that shifts can happen much faster, sometimes in just seconds. A single realization or identity shift can flip an old story on its head instantly, because you’ve trained yourself to recognize and rewire at lightening speed.
That said, deeper transformations, like moving from scarcity into sustained abundance or completely rewriting a long-held identity, may still take months. Not because it takes months for your identity to shift, but it takes months of being/embodying your new identity for your physical reality to transform around you.
That’s doesn’t because the framework doesn’t work or you need to “work hard”, but because there are more layers of identity, story, and physical circumstances that need to aligned and recoded.
Q: What if I don’t know what I want yet?
That’s when you use the reverse approach, decoding your current reality. If you can’t imagine the vision yet, start with what’s right in front of you. Every frustration, block, or repeating pattern is feedback pointing to what needs to be rewritten. (Stay tuned: this is exactly what next week’s article is about.)
Q: Do I need to do the 5R’s every day?
No. The 5R’s aren’t meant to be another daily checklist. They’re a framework you use with intention when you’re shifting something specific in your life or business.
If you’re working on a particular transformation, give yourself 3–10 days to map out the detail: what you want, who the new version of you is, and the beliefs or emotions that identity carries. Then, expect 10 days to 3 weeks of practicing and reinforcing that shift until it integrates as your new normal.
In practice, I find it powerful to make the 5R’s a priority once per quarter. That rhythm keeps your identity aligned with your evolving goals across work, lifestyle, and health without turning it into an exhausting routine.
And here’s the best part: once you’ve mastered the framework, you can move through the 5R’s in real time. You’ll be able to catch an old belief or emotion and shift it on the spot, sometimes in seconds, because the process is wired into how you think and act.
Q: What if I try this and it doesn’t “work”?
If it feels like nothing is shifting, it means one of three things (and often a combination of all three):
You haven’t shifted internally yet. You’re still trying to layer a new identity over an old shadow without fully seeing or dissolving it. In that case, the old pattern still holds power so you’re doing surface level work, but expecting deep levels of transformation.
You’re outsourcing your sense of progress to the external. If you’re waiting for outside results to tell you you’ve changed, you’ll keep reinforcing the old loop. True transformation starts inside, then reflects outward. Nothing outside of you can prove to you that you on the inside has changed. You have to fully change on the inside, maintain that new state, and then the external will change as a result.
You haven’t chosen to believe you’re the creator of your own identity. If you don’t fully accept that you are the ruler of your life, you’ll unconsciously keep handing that power away. This always points back to shadow work: the deeper layers that need to be seen and reclaimed before you can fully step into creation.
Both the stalls and the resistance are normal. Remember: if something feels like it’s “not working,” it doesn’t mean the process is failing, it means there’s a deeper layer asking for your attention. Once you claim your authority, dissolve the shadow, and integrate the new story inside, the external results naturally follow.
Next Steps: Make the Work Hands-On
Your desired reality isn’t a daydream; it’s an identity waiting to be lived.
The 5R’s of Cognitive Reprogramming give you the exact system to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.
If you want hands-on support applying the 5R’s daily, while building your million-dollar personal brand, join me inside Aesteria Academia.
It’s where theory becomes practice, and practice becomes transformation.
That’s it for this edition. I share a new one every Monday. Join the list here so you don’t miss the next drop.
